Bridal shower bewilderment

A bit dated now – forgot to post it....

Our wedding is in two months. There is a lot to organise. More than enough to organise. But I have been told that I also need to have a bridal shower. This sounded OK. A few ladies around to paint our nails, eat nice food and swap relationship advice.

Not quite.

Rather than bridal showers, what normally happens here is a kitchen party. At this kitchen party, the bride-to-be is given everything she needs to set up her (notice the lack of the pronoun ‘his’anywhere near the word kitchen) kitchen. I’m not just talking plates and tablecloths. Gifts given include ovens, fridges and microwaves. Sweet deal. 

In exchange, the bride (or her family and friends) need to feed the invited guests, and provide a nice dress for the bride and some of her friends. All right, fair deal. Until you learn that 250 guests is pretty standard for a kitchen party. In many ways, it seems that this is more significant to the expectant bride than the wedding itself, because it is hear that she is armed with both the implements and advice she needs to be a good wife. Which, as I have mentioned before I think, correlates very strongly with her ability to satisfactorily feed her husband. (And provide for some of his other needs, which I won’t go into here.)

I didn’t intend to have a kitchen party. One reason for this is that I would struggle to fit an entire kitchen into my luggage when I return home. Another is that Atkins and I have established a relationship that is a little different from the Zambian norm, where we both cook and he loves me (I am almost entirely sure) not just for my passable cooking skills. Plus it would cost a fortune.

So, no kitchen party but a bridal shower. A nice chance to celebrate with the women I can’t invite to the wedding (which is modest by Zambian standards with only 120 guests) and have a bit of a giggle. So I asked some of the afore-mentioned ladies to have a chat about what I was proposing for my bridal shower, and to ask for a bit of help.

Well!

They had a lot to say. 5 minutes in and there was nary a trace of my original plans. There were requests for crates of beer, warnings that I must expect (and cater for!) gategrashers and that perhaps I should consider also having the all night dancing ceremony as well.

I cried and left, totally overwhelmed.

Eventually we reconvened and the lovely ladies have now said that they will arrange and finance my bridal shower as their wedding gift to me, which is incredibly kind. They are adamant that I need to experience real Zambian culture and have lasting and wonderful, memories of my bridal shower.

I really don’t know what will happen on the chosen day, March 19, but will be sure to report the details. Apparently at some point the ladies will wrap me in 6 metres of fabric and Atkins will make a brief appearance to unwrap me before leaving the female-only gathering. I’m only a teensy bit terrified....