How to hang your new, improved mosquito net

Background: we had single mosquito net on our double bed. It hung from a circular frame. With one person inside, you’re fine. Once you have two, at least one of you is going to spend the night with your face squished up against mosquito netting. So, we got a beautiful, big, double new one. Between us and sleeping heaven was the mere task of hanging it up. Here’s how we did it...

1.  Strip to underwear, because it’s really hot.
2. Put on head torches, because the power went out about 12 seconds after taking down the old net and we have no non-malaria-risking option other than to get the new one hung before we go to bed.
3. Realise that to work properly, the net must be hung from about 2 metres above the bed.
4.  Look hopefully around the room for a ladder.
5. Ascertain that we do not have a ladder.
6. Place Rachel on Atkins’ shoulders while he stands on the bed. Screw in hook to one of the rafters. Repeat 3 times.
7. Establish that the middle of each side also needs to be attached to roof to work properly.
8. Get out travel sewing kit and sew the emergency elastic you have kept in there for the last 8 years and sew it to the middle of each side of net.
9. Repeat Rachel on Atkins’ shoulders routine.
10. You’re done! High five. Now snuggle down in bed and enjoy sleep unmolested by either mosquitoes or mosquito net.

The finished product