Registering our marriage

So this is what a wedding is like

Atkins and I are planning our wedding blind, because I have never attended a Zambian wedding, and, surprisingly, neither has Atkins (I don't count him being late to his sister's).

Fortunately, the other day we were having a drink at a hotel where two wedding parties came through for photo shoots, so at least I know a bit more about the attire now.

The rebel within us all

Well I guess when you live with daily corruption, nepotism and unreliable amenities you get your power trips where you can....

There are pies here!

I have seen them around, but always been a bit scared to try. The thought of fatty, luke-warm meat and soggy pastry was not appealing. But the other day, it was pie or starve, so I chose pie. And Oh My Goodness! It was DELICIOUS! New Zealand has some pie competition.

P.S. This was taken during the most unlikely wedding planning meeting ever. The man who was supposed to do our decorations for the wedding has dropped of the face of the earth. So our neighbour gave us the number of someone else. She told us to come and see her in her lunch break at the main hospital. We ended up discussing colour schemes in front of a room full of (probably bewildered) women waiting for gynecological exams!

Culinary delights?

So I thought this was weird...



















But apparently not!




And this is definitely hilarious. I wonder how it tastes? Bitter? Sweet? Odd aftertaste? [NB my mother-in-law to be I would describe as sweet and strong]

Sweet wheels

Teenage boys are the same everywhere

Museum

My lovely fiance surprised me with a trip to the museum the other day. Maybe that doesn't sound romantic, but I like museums, and Lusaka's is very good. Lots of interesting stuff about the country's history and culture, and some great art (see below). Sadly, the signs stipulate that you can't enjoy a tipple while viewing. Oh well.

A very life-like papier mache version of the public transport here

Papier mache driver and passengers

Party pooper!

Out and about

Somewhat ambiguous...

Good to know there are options if things don't work out with me and Atkins

The Yellow Pages

Is it not a bit pessimistic to include funeral expenses in car insurance?

There are some very flash new giant shiny mosques here

And traffic stops for a while...

PE lesson

So my PE lesson finally happened. LessonS actually. I started with the 3 year-olds. Cute but manic! They can't keep still. Or concentrate. Pictures below.

Later I ended up with 90 13-year-olds. We did aerobics, freeze tag and octopus, and I really wished I had a whistle. And that their teachers hadn't disappeared leaving me out in 30 degrees and no shade with 90 children who were TOTALLY over-excited. Great fun though.

Follow the leader

Squats

Star jumps

And more star jumps

A sweaty lesson

The rains have declined our polite invitation to visit. They pop in now and again, but most of the time they just taunt us by making big piles of clouds that don't do anything. So not much rain in Lake Kariba, so still lots of power cuts.

And it's hot! 30 degrees most days, and humid, humid, humid. Sweaty, sweaty, sweaty.

And you know what you shouldn't do in that kind of weather? Try on jeans. I don't know what possessed me. As soon as I put one leg in I realised what a terrible idea it had been. There was a lot of pulling on, and the tugging off, and sweating. And I didn't even buy them. I feel a bit sorry for whoever does because they're going to need a good wash...

Suit shopping

So after going past this blingy number...





We found the perfect suit, that just needed a little adjustment. The tailor came along to advise, and ended up running a tutorial for myself, Atkins and several other passing shoppers on what makes a suit just right!

A new friend

Look who turned up outside the bathroom the other day! Nearly 30 centimetres long...

Valentine's Day is really celebrated here. Cute!

I feel like I'm home

So it's not just in New Zealand that people drive their tractors to the shops...

In the mall carpark

We’re all speaking English but....part 3

I was recently completely baffled by the following exchanges, which occurred within a few days of each other.

Exchange 1

Rachel: “How are you?”

Other person: “Better than you.”

Rachel [inside her head]: huh?

Exchange 2

Rachel: “How are you?”

Other person: “Stronger than you.”

Rachel [inside her head]: OK, this is getting weird.

I finally asked Atkins about these responses, and apparently they are just another way of saying “I’m fine” and are not meant to suggest inferiority on the recipient’s part whatsoever. Still not used to it...

The best things I brought

I travelled here with a BIG suitcase. What I have discovered to be the star performers in there are:

• -          Edmond’s cookbook
• -          2 small Victorinox knives
• -          Ciproflaxin antibiotic – nothing can withstand it!
• -          Pawpaw ointment
• -          Photos and postcards of New Zealand to show people
• -          Earl Gray and herbal tea - very expensive here
• -          Peppercorns – also surprisingly expensive here
• -          My laptop with my music, photos, movies and yoga/meditation guides
• -          Tampons. Very hard to get here. Poor ladies.
• -          My adult (that means grown-up not R18) colouring in book [although just last week I noticed that these have now arrived here]

I do laugh at what I brought with me the first time I came here. Among other things, I brought: hand sanitiser, moisturiser, razors, envelopes and an umbrella, all of which it is very possible to get here (no really – not all Africans live in huts in villages. There are supermarkets! And shopping malls! Who knew? J The way the West views the developing world I guess.).

I did forget marmite though. Disaster! And I can’t find coconut milk or chickpeas.

P.S. very few people use chopping boards here. They somehow perfectly (and injury-free) cut onions, tomato, cabbage etc. holding the vegetable in one hand and a knife in the other! Tried it. Failed. Bought a chopping board.

Did you really say that?

Zambians can be more honest than New Zealanders in a social sense. We generally don’t tell people, especially people we don’t know that well, if they have put on weight, or that we think their lunch is strange, or that something about the way they live their life is unusual.

Not so much here. Sometimes it’s refreshing. Sometimes it’s hilarious. Sometimes it leaves me dumbstruck. Other times, enraged. Depending on context and my mood at the time! For example, I received these comments in the last week:

A - from a colleague

“Was there no power at home?”

“What do you mean?”

“Could you not iron because there was no power? Your pants are very wrinkled.”

Context: these were my gym pants which I was wearing to coach the teachers in how to teach P.E. to their students. Who irons gym pants???

B – from a child

“You have  very hairy arms. I like them.”

C- from a stranger

“You are going home to cook your husband lunch?”

“No, actually, he has cooked me lunch. It is his day off today and I am working.”

“Oh. You shouldn’t do that. You must cook for him.”

Then of course are the delights I get from a certain kind of man, especially when Atkins is not with me. These include:

·         “Sweeeetiieeeee you look niiiiiice.” Often followed by “what is your problem?” when I choose not to respond to this charming comment.

·         “Mzungu! [white person]” often yelled very loud in my direction. As if I wasn’t already aware of the fact I’m white....

Please note that these are exceptions to the rule of Zambians being very lovely and polite and a pleasure to be around. (But I will do serious harm to the next person who yells “mzungu” at me.)

Pezo and Rachel's girls' morning out

Atkins often works weekends so Pezo (my neighbour's daughter) and I seem to have started a routine of a Saturday morning girls' trip to the local mall, where we do some chores then Pezo colours while I use the internet. Fun! She is great company.

Remember these?! Gran always let me have one. Do they still exist in NZ? I loved them.

So some people here are rich...

What I miss

My friends and family, of course. Other than that, homesickness has been a stranger so far on this trip. There are some things I occasionally yearn for:

• -          Lindt chocolate
• -          24 hour electricity
• -          Bee stings and Bath buns from Hillmorton bakery
• -          Wireless internet at home
• -          Cheese
• -          Butter
• -          The beach and the beautiful parks of Christchurch
• -          Really nice bread (Vogel’s sunflower and barley, or soft, fluffy fresh-baked white bread from the New World bakery section)
• -          My washing machine

And that’s really about it.

Postscript: on re-reading that, it’s hilarious how many of the things on my list are food. We are simple creatures us humans!

You are a woman now

Yesterday my adopted Zambian mother, Mama Rose, who lives beside us, saw me scrubbing the floor. She proudly told me “you are a woman now.”

“What was I before Mama Rose?”

“You were a lady. But now you are a woman. A strong woman. You are hardworking.”

She was referring to the fact that I now wash clothes by hand, sweep inside and outside my house, lug big buckets of water around the place, can light and cook on a brazier and that I run outside to rescue my washing from the rain before hanging it back out 10 minutes later when the showers have passed.

And that’s pretty much the biggest compliment a Zambian woman could be given. So I’m taking it.